Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Week #11: Presenting Self. VS. Perceived Self
Week 11 Blog
Most of the time, I think we need to present a certain part of ourselves or pretend to be an entirely different person, so we can “belong” with the person we’re meeting or people we are surrounded by. The person I present is largely based on context. If I’m hanging out with my friends in a casual atmosphere where drinking is involved, I may be more obnoxious than I usually am. However, if I’m doing a persuasive presentation for an audience composed of business people, I would speak formally and wear a business suit. The person I am sometimes can be very different from the person I am presenting, but most often than not my “presenting self” is very true to my “perceived self”.
We alter ourselves most when we meet someone for the first time or we‘re in a new atmosphere (the first day of school effect I call it). First impressions are often unforgettable and we want to make a good first impression by looking and acting similar to that person. Chapter talks about “impression management”, the creation of a positive image of oneself in order to influence the perceptions of other (Seiler, 67). It is because of this phenomenon that people may be quite different than their true selves.
My presenting self and my true self are usually the same. I am pretty comfortable with my personality and who I am for the most part. That can be attributed to my age, my optimism in life or perhaps the fact that I’m usually surrounded by others people who are similar to me. For example, I spend the greater part of my day at school or with my family, therefore I’m usually with people who are focused on the same things or have similar personality traits. The biggest difference between who I am to the world and who I am inside happens when I’m afraid or I’m having a terrible day. I’m the kind of person that bottles the majority of my anger and sadness up and I present a happy go lucky attitude to the world. I hate it when people are “Debbie downers”, so I try my best to be positive. Sometimes if you fake it enough, you may end up being happy or being positive. Attitude or thought is the first step to positive actions.
I put on a happy self or a positive self especially when I meet new people or I’m doing something major like a class presentation. If I don’t come in with a good attitude, my nerves and personal feelings may negatively impact my performance or actions.
Do you often find that putting a “brave face” can make your presenting self and perceived self more similar? Perhaps if we try hard enough we may even spread the positivity and others would benefit from the infectious positivity too.
Most of the time, I think we need to present a certain part of ourselves or pretend to be an entirely different person, so we can “belong” with the person we’re meeting or people we are surrounded by. The person I present is largely based on context. If I’m hanging out with my friends in a casual atmosphere where drinking is involved, I may be more obnoxious than I usually am. However, if I’m doing a persuasive presentation for an audience composed of business people, I would speak formally and wear a business suit. The person I am sometimes can be very different from the person I am presenting, but most often than not my “presenting self” is very true to my “perceived self”.
We alter ourselves most when we meet someone for the first time or we‘re in a new atmosphere (the first day of school effect I call it). First impressions are often unforgettable and we want to make a good first impression by looking and acting similar to that person. Chapter talks about “impression management”, the creation of a positive image of oneself in order to influence the perceptions of other (Seiler, 67). It is because of this phenomenon that people may be quite different than their true selves.
My presenting self and my true self are usually the same. I am pretty comfortable with my personality and who I am for the most part. That can be attributed to my age, my optimism in life or perhaps the fact that I’m usually surrounded by others people who are similar to me. For example, I spend the greater part of my day at school or with my family, therefore I’m usually with people who are focused on the same things or have similar personality traits. The biggest difference between who I am to the world and who I am inside happens when I’m afraid or I’m having a terrible day. I’m the kind of person that bottles the majority of my anger and sadness up and I present a happy go lucky attitude to the world. I hate it when people are “Debbie downers”, so I try my best to be positive. Sometimes if you fake it enough, you may end up being happy or being positive. Attitude or thought is the first step to positive actions.
I put on a happy self or a positive self especially when I meet new people or I’m doing something major like a class presentation. If I don’t come in with a good attitude, my nerves and personal feelings may negatively impact my performance or actions.
Do you often find that putting a “brave face” can make your presenting self and perceived self more similar? Perhaps if we try hard enough we may even spread the positivity and others would benefit from the infectious positivity too.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Week 10: Perceptions
The funny thing about perceptions is that everyone has one or many and most of the time we are not even aware of our own thoughts about a person or situation. To clarify we are not aware of WHY we have those thoughts. There are so many things that go into the composition of a person's perspective that it's difficult to point to one culprit. Our opinion is a result of accumulated experiences with social identities. It is great and it sucks at the same time.
I suppose the easiest culprit to point to is gender identity and how that influences me as well as you. The way I look at a situation compared to my male counterparts can be very different just because we experience life differently. The best example is our perception of romantic situations. Have you seen the movie "He's Just Not That Into You"? Well... that is one of the examples. One of my best girlfriends, Adrienne, is in love with her friend, Victor. According to her they really connect and there's a change he's returning her feelings even though he is dating other girls currently that ISN'T her. My husband and I view this differently. There's a part of me that believes he does have feelings for her but doesn't want to be with her because he doesn't want to ruin the relationship. (He has said this.) My husband thinks he isn't interested and he's just being nice. If a guy wants to be someone, he will make the effort. Is my perception of the situation different because as a woman I want to romanticize it and root for my friend? I certainly don't want to further break my friend's heart and tell her "he's just not that into you". I mean there's nothing wrong with her and nothing wrong with him either. As women we want to believe that there is more to a guy than the surface and perhaps they are a charming prince underneath it all... what if he isn't.
I think women get these ideas from years and years of socialization via Disney movies and playing house with dolls. It is ingrained in us from the beginning to look for that "Prince Charming". If he doesn't exist, let's make him up! I mean there is nothing wrong with shooting for the stars and being with a good person, but come on. The media as well as society puts a lot of pressure on women to get married and have children by a certain age that it further taints our view of love and relationships. The key is to be more aware of what we really want and who really are versus what we're being influenced to do.
Do you think the media and society have helped to shape your gender identity also?
I suppose the easiest culprit to point to is gender identity and how that influences me as well as you. The way I look at a situation compared to my male counterparts can be very different just because we experience life differently. The best example is our perception of romantic situations. Have you seen the movie "He's Just Not That Into You"? Well... that is one of the examples. One of my best girlfriends, Adrienne, is in love with her friend, Victor. According to her they really connect and there's a change he's returning her feelings even though he is dating other girls currently that ISN'T her. My husband and I view this differently. There's a part of me that believes he does have feelings for her but doesn't want to be with her because he doesn't want to ruin the relationship. (He has said this.) My husband thinks he isn't interested and he's just being nice. If a guy wants to be someone, he will make the effort. Is my perception of the situation different because as a woman I want to romanticize it and root for my friend? I certainly don't want to further break my friend's heart and tell her "he's just not that into you". I mean there's nothing wrong with her and nothing wrong with him either. As women we want to believe that there is more to a guy than the surface and perhaps they are a charming prince underneath it all... what if he isn't.
I think women get these ideas from years and years of socialization via Disney movies and playing house with dolls. It is ingrained in us from the beginning to look for that "Prince Charming". If he doesn't exist, let's make him up! I mean there is nothing wrong with shooting for the stars and being with a good person, but come on. The media as well as society puts a lot of pressure on women to get married and have children by a certain age that it further taints our view of love and relationships. The key is to be more aware of what we really want and who really are versus what we're being influenced to do.
Do you think the media and society have helped to shape your gender identity also?
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Unfortunately, in life it isn’t always possible to communicate or understand others clearly. Perhaps our emotions, cultural backgrounds or lack of articulation lead to misunderstanding simply because the message wasn’t clear or was too ambiguous. My mother is one of those people who I love dearly, but sometimes communicating with her is quite a mystery. About two years ago I attended my sister’s modeling show with her and my then boyfriend, Jason. The modeling show was held at the Village Stadium at the University of Minnesota campus. When we arrived, the show had not started yet. We spoke to the security and they told us that we could sit in the front row of the VIP section since we knew the designer and one of the models (my sister was the model and her friend, who we knew really well, was the designer), we thought it was just fine. As the show started, a few ladies motioned at us and told us that we were in their seats. We thought they were kicking us out of the area and my mother got upset. She made comments to the ladies about how inappropriate they were and threatened to sue for many frivolous reasons. Security got to us and kicked us out of the VIP area because of the fight. My boyfriend and I graciously left, but my mother became confrontational with the security. The hilarious part of the whole thing was that the security guards were afraid of her and didn’t know what to do so they allowed her to stay in the VIP area.
If we had stopped to listen to the ladies by our seats, we would have discovered that one of the girls was missing her purse and she was asking us if we had seen it. We thought she was asking us why we had their seats. With the noise and show going on, there was very few opportunities to have a decent conversation and truly understand each other. Unfortunately, we were victims of circumstance and environmental noise pollution. Have you ever been in situations where the lack of clarity of ambiguity was out of your control?